Toilet Discrimination
This just in: New York just passed a law that forces new public venues to provide twice as many bathrooms for women as for men.
We've all seen the long line for the ladies' room. Yes, it looks terrible. However, just as many guys have to go to the can, but we don't take forever primping and relaxing and trading recipes and doing whatever women do in there. It is ridiculous how long women take - on my flight back from Albany last weekend, women were taking upwards of five minutes in the stall. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOOTS? PISS OR GET OFF THE POT!
New York's law is a clearcut case of sexual bias, and reflects modern society's problem of caving in to bad habits. Instead of encouraging women to be efficient, like men, we help them take forever. To me, this is in the same camp of encouraging parents to excuse their kids' bad behavior or poor academic performance due to alleged learning disabilities and ADD, and blaming McDonald's for fat people. There are roughly the same number of men and women in the country, and thus there should be the same number of bathrooms. Obviously, bathroom speed can be increased (a la men) and there's no sexual, biological reason that excuses taking forever. I can see an argument for more sinks and mirrors, and I'll accept that societal norms require women to spend a little longer applying makeup, primping, etc, but increasing the number of actual toilets is just silly - especially twice as many like in NY.
Besides, if we don't stand up to this now, next the women will want nicer bathrooms, with jacuzzis and masseuses, and then they'll set rules about employment quotas, and before you know it men will be enslaved! Whereas right now we have a nice little system where women enslave us more subtly, through the manipulation of their female charms...
posted by Matt Stewart @ 8:29 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Granted there are women who dawdle in the can, but it's not as frequent as you think.
I agree that a lot of today's society panders to protecting the idiot, but that logic on this argument doesn't fit. Just as many men as woman have bad habits in the bathroom. Look at the whole reading while you poo thing that men do. Why do you need to read? Just go!
I don't understand why any sane person would want to spend anymore time than necessary in a public bathroom.
bad habits in the bathroom are one thing (since when is reading a bad habit?) but taking a long time in a public bathroom and then passing legislation to accomodate that is quite another.
they must dawdle - why are women's lines so much longer? if not dawdling WHAT? enlighten us!
Englighten you? You got it. I'll tell you exactly what's up because it drives me insane.
I'm speedy when I stop off at the ladies'. Because I take the little paper cover, put it on the seat, and SIT DOWN.
There are many princesses and paranoid old ladies who refuse to SIT DOWN when they go. They squat instead because they think they will catch the plague from the seat, even with those nice paper covers.
As a result, these peeing princesses SPRAY THE SEAT. And sometimes the floor. At that point, it's clear no one would want to sit down on that. The horror! And they don't even clean up after themselves as a common courtesy. This happens in both gas stations and fine restaurants. And when someone like me gets in there either a) I have to wipe up if it's minor, which takes time or b) The stall is decorated with tinkle and completely unusable unless you want to go rolling around in someone else's pee.
And that's it. Secret exposed. NYC should have hung a sign saying, "You won't catch anything! Sit your butt down! Oh, and flush, too!"
Caroline - I agree with you about the seat-pissing. The actions of a few leave the rest of us in a real jam.
For example, at my work, where we have a bathroom that is professionally cleaned on a daily basis, the seat-pissing is rampant! If you walk into a mess and decide to abort, you run the risk of being falsely incriminated by a co-worker as you leave the scene of the crime. So you really have to wipe for the princess no matter what. I haven't had the courage to post the signs, but it's only a matter of time: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!"
I also agree with Matt, that women take too long in the public bathrooms and I also don't understand why. They're usually digusting because of problem #1, so why dawdle? As a woman, I can provide a bit more insight, which is that in my experience, the extra time is often taken in the stall, not even in front of the mirror. It makes no sense! Especially if they're not even sitting.
I would agree with New York having more bathrooms for women (but not twice as many), because the problem (despite the public service campaigns I've dreamed up) just isn't going away.
Hey, why not just make the TP protector? I also refuse to sit on any seat without proper insulation from the possible homosexual implications of having my rear end on the same spot as where another dude was, but it only takes about 10 seconds to get the TP barrier on top of the toilet seat. Why squat? It seems like a total waste of effort. Why have a toilet seat in the first place then if no one is going to use it. Maybe we should replace girls seats with a female version of the urinal. Don't ask me what it would look like, as I have no idea what girls look like naked, but I bet some inventive dame could come up with somehthing.
Dude
I guess those squatting women don't know:
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."
Mateo: Reading outside the restroom isn't a bad habit. But why take the sports page into the john with you? It's going to bring the bathroom germs back out with you. Gnarly!
I think you forget that women usually are the ones that have to take the children (of both sexes) into the bathroom with them. A mother then has to deal with her children's needs as well as her own.
Then there is always the menstruation factor. It takes a minute or two to change a pad or tampon.
Plus, men don't have to get half naked when they go pee. You just do a quick zip and whip and then you're done.
And if a woman is wearing fancy clothes, it's going to take a hell of a long time to get undressed. There's a dress, pantyhose, body shaper and then underwear to deal with...
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