Ah, These Are Rich

The San Francisco police updates have been fairly lame lately, but there are a few show-stoppers in this week's edition.

Felony Stupid Arrest

Thursday, January 26, 2006; 6:30 p.m.; 1800 block Haight Street.

Our local beat officer was called to the above block of Haight Street, surprisingly, on the report of drugs being sold. While conducting an investigation at the above address a 'rocket scientist' walked by the uniformed officer lighting and smoking a big pipe of marijuana. Right out of a Cheech and Chong movie the guy walks out of his cloud of smoke and into the officer's handcuffs as he was now under arrest. Dude was carrying a backpack that the officer searched. Inside was found enough drugs to rival any pharmacy. He had, of course, the usual massive quantity of marijuana, but he also had 44 pills of Klonopin, alas without a prescription. Also found were packaging for sales materials comprised of a scale, baggies, and ties. Finally, this officer found used and clean needles and cooking spoons consistent with heroin use. Other officers took him to the station for booking and while en route noticed the guy was very fidgety. At the station one officer noticed that the guys hands were clenched in a fist and instructed him to open his hands at which time was found six balloons heroin. What was he thinking? He must have been high!

Felony Warrant Arrest

Wednesday, January 25, 2006; 6:00 p.m.; Oak and Cole Streets.

Officers went to the above location on the report of homeless people harassing passers-by. They got there and found a group of local homeless partying as usual. They were not happy being 'harassed' by the cops. A computer check showed that one of the visiting homeless was wanted so badly that he will be going all the way back to Manhattan as a result of an outstanding warrant. It's very unusual that a jurisdiction that far away will actually extradite a fugitive. Must be a bad dude! He won't be missed as we have enough of our own desperados.

Felony Warrant Arrest

Thursday, January 26, 2006; 8:05 p.m.; 700 Block of Cole Street.

Officers went to a house on the above street to serve a newly issued warrant. They got there and the subject of the warrant (recognized by the officers) walked out his front door and into the hands of the police. It was the easiest arrest they have ever made.

Felony Drug Arrest

Thursday, February 2, 2006; 6:10 p.m.; 1827 Haight Street.

Our ever present, uniformed, beat officer was making his rounds in the above area when he saw two guys walking towards him. Not four feet from him they exchanged drugs for money. Not believing his eyes he stopped and detained the two. Both the buyer and seller were taken to the station. While there the buyer wrote a statement regarding the purchase he made, he was then released. The seller was arrested for the sale and other contraband that he had in his possession. The seller told the officer that he was new to the area and the drug trade. The officer advised him that perhaps he should chose another profession, as it appeared that he had not mastered this one.