The International Language of Love

Karaoke!

Isn't there something inherently appealling about people singing songs badly? Sly self-awareness, humility, a running good-natured open joke, that rare burst of talent - karaoke brings out the best in people across all languages and borders. Kind of like babies, or tickling, or pizza - what's not to like?

I've performed a spate of karaoke recently, and I'd like to present my most memorable moments on stage.

Best Karaoke Performance
Hot for Teacher, Van Halen - The Mint, San Francisco

Karaoke guru Chris holds this as one of the top karaoke performances by anyone of all time.

Worst Karaoke Performance
I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow, The Soggy Bottom Boys - Somewhere in Adams Morgan, Washington, DC

Great song, which I performed with college roommate Lipowicz at a cabaret to a round of applause, but a real stinker and downer on stage. Plus, majorly off-key.

Most Painful Karaoke Performance
Paradise City, Guns N Roses - Napa

Lots of good energy and I do the Axl scream well, but this song ripped out my voice for three days. It's too much. Also, the non-chorus lyrics are extremely stupid.

Just an urchin livin' under the street
I'm a hard case that's tough to beat
I'm your charity case
So buy me somethin' to eat
I'll pay you at another time
Take it to the end of the line