Comedy of Errors

This morning I stepped out onto my back porch and closed the door. Problem: I had left both my keys and cell phone inside the apartment. The door was now locked, of course, to fend off Haight Street evildoers, so I foolishly pulled open my rear window in a misguided attempt to get in. This resulted in toppling over several glass cups filled with pens and pencils that had been residing on the windowsill, shattering at least one of them. My ferocious but tired guard dog was not roused.

Fine. Hopefully my girlfriend will get home from work first and let me in. I went downstairs, got on my bike, and headed to work. Ten seconds later, on my first downhill, my chain came off. I don't know if you've ever put a chain back on on a hill, but it gets a helluva lot of grease on your hands. The rest of the ride to work was uneventful, but when I arrived at my building, I discovered that the elevator was out of service. As the key to my bike lock was locked inside my apartment with the rest of my keys, I couldn't leave my bike on the bike rack, so I ended up carrying my bicycle up three flights of stairs to my office.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!