The Cat's Meow

Last night, I went to the Annual SPCA Volunteer Banquet at the California Culinary Academy. For those of you not up to speed on my volunteer work, once a month the dog and I visit area hospitals, nursing homes and psycho wards (aka loony bins) and Otis does some tricks and gets petted as part of the Animal Assistant Therapy program. Known to some as "Licking Retards," this is about the easiest volunteer work one can do. Most people just happy for attention, lots of people tell me stories about their dogs, some people cry, and now and then they try to eat Otis's dog food. Some have succeeded.

Now, compared to most SPCA volunteers, my hour a month is nothing. A guy at my table used to volunteer 60-70 hours a MONTH; now that he's working more, he's down to 20-30. Several people had moved so their pets would be more comfortable, and several recounted various injuries they'd endured in the line of duty. I like to think I'm a good dog owner (or guardian, as we're known as in SF), but I'm definitely not of the insane yell-at-the-coach-for-not-putting-my-kid-in ilk that these guys are.

The Banquet was about as San Francisco-ridiculous as you can get. Imagine a room full of cat and dog loving lunatics, consider their combined social problems, and you'll get the picture. The menu was vegan, which most people aren't really into...however, last year they had a really good butternut lasagna, so I held high hopes that we'd get something interesting and delicious. Alas, we got this tiny stack of beets in tomato sauce that tasted like cardboard. The speeches were also ridiculous, with one speaker openly crying on the mic, numerous silly comparisons of the SFSPCA to Gandhi and other heroes, and the Chairman of the Board declaring that "there is no other humane organization in the world like the San Francisco SPCA." I was careful to select a table in the back, though, and I got out of there while the speeches were still droning on.

Not that anything's wrong with the SPCA folks; they're very compassionate and giving. They're just weird as hell too.