Do These Amuse Anybody Else?

Not that I really care. I love em.

Dispatches from the SF Park Police Station:

Felon in Possession of Handgun Arrested

Friday, July 8, 2005; 10:32 PM; 1600 Block of Eddy Street

A Northern Station Police plainclothes unit heard three shots. They drove down the block to check out this sound report. The Officers observed a known drug dealer who was alleged to be responsible for a homicide committed a few months ago. The nefarious criminal on seeing the unmarked police vehicle approach made a furtive move (meaning suspicious as hell) stepping side ways like a crab removing a black semi-auto handgun from his front waistband and casually tossing it into the open window of a parked vehicle occupied by two women. The Officers exited their vehicle to confront the not so cool "hot-potato" player who figured correctly that the gig was up and ran to beat the band from the scene of his stupidity. After a very dramatic two-block foot chase which ended in an old fashion field tackle, surrounded by several neighbors concerned why the police were treating the man like a criminal. Back at the young lady's car, the police found her waiting for their return to advise the Officers they had every reason to chase that bad man who threw a gun into her parked car, and her sister added "I hope you put him away for a long time". Hopefully her wish will be realized but that decision does not rest with us.

Death at the Hospital

Saturday, July 9, 2005; 2:15 AM; 50 Castro Street

We normally do not report the numerous cases we are sent on to investigate the passing of a fellow human, but this one has too much irony in the telling to pass up. One of our midnight cars received a call that hospital security that while doing his rounds found a body on the campus walkway. The Officers' investigation revealed that a 55-year old homeless man who had been released from the hospital had walked out of the emergency clinic's front door and got approximately 50 feet away before keeling over dead. It seems the man entered shortly before his demise desiring medical attention and was cleaned up, fed and released in supposedly good health. No further comment!

Man Wanted for Possession of a Deadly Weapon Arrested

Saturday, July 9, 2005; 7:30 AM; Eddy and Scott Street

One of our older hawk-eye Day Watch Officers spotted a known dangerous felon who was wanted on a felony warrant for his second bench warrant for probation revocation on convicted charges of carrying a dangerous concealed weapon and another warrant for narcotics violations. The Officer first confirmed the warrants then politely advised the resident of this neighborhood of his current legal entanglements and they both drove down to Park Station to address the matter. Now that's how it's done by the older generation Officer, none of this running for blocks and doing open field tackles. Not that old hawk-eye couldn't still catch them; it's just a different approach.