The Amazing Kiss My Bumper

I was interviewed to be on The Amazing Race 10 about a month ago with my brother. For those of you too cool for network prime time, The Amazing Race is a race around the world that involves plenty of physical challenges, driving stick shift (not my specialty), and often eating an overwhelming quantity of nasty food (my specialty!). First one to finish wins a million clams.

What was our secret to getting that far? Putting together a hilarious video featuring Redskins jerseys, rapping, dancing, a brief Broadway number, standup comedy, and using plenty of props. Everybody who saw the video cracked up -- while you never know with Hollywood, I wasn't completely surprised we got the call.

(In comparison, I also applied to be on the show with high school chum Chris a few years back. Chris filmed his section of the video at 3 am, he looks drunk, and he called the show the Human Race. Then he FedExed it to me overnight, and I did a poorly lit (althought funny) bit filmed by an irate then-girlfriend (now wife) capped off with a cartwheel that should have saved the day if they watched it to the end, which I doubt.)

The interview went smoothly too. We talked with the producers for about fifteen minutes (one of them went to Yale, which can't hurt) and basically made it known that we're smart, handsome studs with winning smiles, luscious red hair and plenty of memorable phrases guaranteed to boost ratings.

We didn't make it. Why? Probably because an all-male Hawaiian-shirt lovin' team from San Francisco may very well win it all this season, and I'll be the first to admit that I don't want to see that happen twice in a row.

Still...