Fear Factor

American parents seem more protective than ever before. A woman in my office was up all night because she didn't know where her 18-year-old daughter was in the morning. I can understand caring for your kid's welfare, but she's technically an adult, presumably not an idiot. A 4-year-old is one thing. But 18?

I remember days bumming around Washington, DC, on the Metro by myself, figuring out how to get to movie theaters all around the area (and sneaking into R-rated movies). By age 9 I was "babysitting" my little brother and sister. Basically it involved watching a lot of TV and cooking dinner in the microwave. It was awesome - I made $2.50 an hour! But when I tell people that many act as if I was thrust into battle. They repeat the scary stories on the news, the Natalee Holloway abduction, pedophiles, etc. There are bad people out there, sure - but there are also 300 million people in the United States, and the vast majority of them don't care about your kid!

Mark Morford has an insightful column on this here.

Getting lost and facing danger is part of growing up. I'm thankful for my spirit of independence and adventure, and getting lost on the subway when I was 12 has a lot to do with it.

Powered by Rum

Another reason to root for Trinidad in the World Cup - if they beat England, they each get a barrel of aged rum.

That's 64 gallons, probably worth thousands of dollars. Or one really big victory party.

Oh yeah, they're also the smallest country ever to qualify for the Cup. And they remind me of Guyana.

Watch the World Cup at Work

For this gift, I ask that you remember me in your will.

The Ultimate Dispute Resolution Tool

Rock paper scissors strikes again.

A judge in Florida resolved a dispute of "Gordian knot" proportions by ordering the attorneys to RPS it out.

As a former Roshambo (the California term for RPS) competitor at the 2003 Southwest ProAm in Healdsburg, I recommend that the attorneys adhere to the "bureaucrat" strategy of paper, paper, paper. Most rookies throw rock, as the fist is already clenched and it is easiest. However, we must assume that these intelligent lawyers are scrupulously reading all about dominant game strategies, thus they know that rock is for rookies -- but perhaps they'll throw rock anyway because they think their opposition will assume they're too smart for rock.

Therein lies the beauty of the game. Read way too much about it here.

Mentos & Diet Coke

Beats the Bellagio by a mile.

Yo mama's got an Afro, with a chinstrap!

Stumbled on a Yo Mama contest down at Club Deluxe on Haight Street last night. Club Deluxe is far and away the best bar in the area; it's got a classy, 1920's Los Angeles feel, they make killer mojitos, and they've got something going on every night. Sunday is Bossa Nova night; Tuesday is jazz and open mic poetry; Mondays are comedy; weekends always feature talented bands. Plus they recently added a pizzetta!

As I was saying, last night was Yo Mama night, no cover, and hilarious. The top three jokes (please self-censor if you don't like reading descriptions of the female anatomy):

Your mother is like a school bus. She's constantly putting out stupid, ugly children fathered by different men.

Your mother and my computer have a lot in common. They both have thousands of viruses, all from porn.

And the hands-down winner:

Your mother's vagina is like New Orleans. It's in shambles and full of homeless black people.

Of course no Yo Mama contest is complete without paying homage to The Pharcyde, who pioneered the mama joke world with the classic hit, Ya Mama:

yo mom is so fat
how fat is she
we rolled up her back to get some burgers from wendy's
and her skates went flat I got stuck in her butt crack
they thought I was lost but, I was caught by the g strap
heaven forbid a giant fart would give way cause
that would blow me round the world in a day
we drove into the drive in and she didn't have to pay
cause we dressed her up to look just like a chevrolet

Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde is still one of the greatest albums of all time.

Funkdafy Your Pet

The Missus just launched her first business venture, Sisu Pet: crazy inventive hand-painted pet portraits. Definitely eye-catching and funky, contact her for more info and ask for the Dude discount.

Sisu Pet is named after a ratty t-shirt that says "Sisu" on it that Karla's been wearing since the dawn of time. Still, the concept of "sisu" is pretty cool.

From Wikipedia:

Sisu is a Finnish term that could be roughly translated into English as strength of will, determination, perseverance, acting rationally in the face of adversity. The equivalent in English is "to have guts", and indeed, the word derives from sisus, which means something inner or interior. However, sisu has a long-term element in it; it is not momentary courage, but the ability to sustain the same.

In a word, gumption. Gotta like that.

PS Tell all your pet-owning friends

PPS Bonus points if you identify the pet above

Is there anything more beautiful

Than Brazilian soccer?

Also, this is just ridiculous.

I'm seriously looking into tickets for South Africa 2010.