Rush Limbaugh Is a Tremendously Evil Hypocrite

Now he's attacking Michael J. Fox for exaggerating the effects of Parkinson's disease in recent political ads, accusing Marty McFly of "acting."

It's hard to respond to an attack this despicable.

My grandmother had Parkinson's. I didn't realize it was Parkinson's that made her shake until the last couple of years; I just thought she was a shaky person, or it was some other old person problem.

My theory is that Rush secretly envies Michael J. Fox's condition. Why, with those kind of medical problems, Rush could get access to all the prescription medication he could ever want.

Estimated Time to a Theater Near You: Five Years

A woman who grew up in a Laotian orphanage in the turbulent 1960s and '70s won a $55 million lottery jackpot. She's pledging to donate her money to the orphanage and go back to Laos to track down her birth parents, who she's never met.

While this is a charming story, once again we deify the winners of gambling. Rarely do stories about parents who blow their last buck on lotto instead of dinner make the front page. Anyone who's been to a horse track, or jai alai game, or Reno, can attest that gambling very rarely enhances one's life to this extent.

Blown Cover

I just got a hit on this very senstive blog you're reading now from the CIA.

Info on my tracker:

Domain Name		(Unknown)
IP Address		198.81.129.# (Central Intelligence Agency)
ISP		ANS Communications
Location		Continent : North America Country : United States (Facts) State : District of Columbia City : Washington Lat/Long : 38.8933, -77.0146 (Map)

Now isn't that kind of sad that NOT ONLY does the CIA not mask their location, they also provide the first eight digits of their IP address? And now I'm free to ridicule them online, attract tremendous media attention, and send the walls of CIA HQ shaking! Mistakes like these will cost us Baghdad!

(Unless of course this is a secret al-Qaeda organization masquerading as the CIA so as to elicit my powerful condemnation and win valuable ground in the War on Terror's Battle of Information. But I doubt it.)

Death By Pothole

No thanks to a secret pothole recently installed by the good people at Presidio construction, this morning my trusty computer sensor flew off the front tire of my bicycle. Despite backtracking to the scene of the crime, I was unable to locate a tiny piece of plastic amidst several large holes and cracks covered in gravel. What a shock!

Final totals for computer #1 - since I bought my bike last June (and with a couple of brief outages):

294 hours and 51 minutes spent riding my bike
4128 miles covered
Top speed: about 46 mph
Three punctured rear tires
ZERO punctured front tires
One completely worn-out brake line
One Napa Century
One circumnavigation of Lake Tahoe
A couple hundred rides to work and back

RIP!

Morons With Pedals

In the past few weeks of commuting via bicycle between San Francisco and Sausalito, I've noted the following deeply idiotic behavior from fellow cyclists:

1. Cycling, uphill, while smoking a cigarette
2. A nurse, dressed in uniform, cycling while smoking a cigarette
3. Cycling while drinking coffee from a Starbucks-style cup
4. Cycling while talking on a cell phone
5. Cycling down a difficult downhill while a)listening to iPod AND b) on the phone
6. Cycling with a child sitting on the baggage flat over the rear wheel

Needless to say, none of these dummies was wearing helmets.

Dolomite Jenkins: Personal Hero

If Clinton Portis sticks around for a few years, he could very well rise to the Art Monk/Darrell Green level of Best Redskins Ever.

This week, he dressed up in Napoloen dynamite garb as character Dolomite Jenkins. His advice: "Santana offers you his protection."

Get another 112 yards and throw some more killer blocks (three on this play!) and Clinton can do whatever he wants.

(Seriously, between Portis and Gilbert Arenas, DC is now home to the nuttiest athletes in professional sports. Levels out the boring politicians I guess.)

Preorder My Dad's Book!

The Summer of 1787: The Men Who Invented the Constitution (Hardcover)
by David O. Stewart (Author)

This book makes for and excellent stocking stuffer and premier beach reading, although as the book doesn't come out until April you should plan for Summer/Xmas 2007. Perfect for students of American history of all ages, and personal autographs ARE available - just contact me.