Shasta

Home sweet home. We arrived at 1 am to discover that the motel owner, Ohto, was drunk off his rocker, largely incoherent, and not wearing pants. He was, however, wearing skimpy Finnish underpants. You might say it was the weirdest 20-minute hotel check-in I've ever had!

Team Turkey Day, at the scenic overlook of Lake Shasta at Shasta Caverns -- a side trip much maligned on theory until we actually got there and yours truly was vindicated.

Obligatory blizzard hike up Mt. Shasta. Note inability to see tracks in snow.

If you like puns, move to the town of Weed, California.

Kicking it with the Tin Man, I mean, Abner Weed.

Scott enjoys the cattle car on the Thanksgiving Love Train.
Thanksgiving brews at Siskiyou Lake.

Amazingly Lame

For all of my fellow Amazing Race fans, there have been some shenanigans going on over the past few weeks. A few weeks ago, the psycho-women team (the Godlewskis) suddenly dropped from first place to fourth place...why? Because the Amazing Race cameraman had run down their car battery! Look, they're annoying, but that's no reason to lose a million bucks. Anyhow, it was conveniently a nonelimination round, the Godlewskis survived, and presumably the cameraman got a major talking to, right?

Then last night, the Linzes (or Team Frat Party) departed one location in first place. Then at their destination, the second team rolled in first (personality-less Bransen family), then the third team rolled in second (evil Weaver family), and the fourth team (Godlewskis) wound up in third. How could this happen? How could the fast-driving, good-map-reading team of lovable brothers get lost?

They didn't. Their cameraman ran down the battery on their car!

Call bull when you see it -- that's lame, unprofessional, and leaves a sour taste in everybody's mouth. CBS, give the Amazing Race cameramen more batteries, or else a really long extension cord.

Lumerian Invasion

As I was finishing up a project with our video editor last Wednesday, I mentioned that I was going to Mt. Shasta for Thanksgiving. The video editor, who dabbles in conspiracy theories and the supernatural from time to time, advised me to ask about the Lumerians when I got there.

Lumerians?!

Shastafarians (that is, Shasta residents), have various explanations for Lumerians. Most agree that they live on a different psychic or energy field and have incredible psychic powers. Their appearance is disputed (very tall, wearing white robes, invisible to the naked eye) but my interviewing revealed that many residents believe they live inside the mountain after their lost continent submerged into the Pacific (I think it was called Moorea, or the Pacific version of Atlantis (not the casino!)). Many said that the oddly shaped lenticular clouds that form over Mt. Shasta and kind of look like big sombreros are actually masks for the Lumerian UFOs that come by to refuel on the crystalline snow and water on top of the mountain.


Gotta admit, looks out-of-this world, don't it?

We didn't see any Lumerians, despite a hike up the mountain in a blizzard, although we met two guys who did. One guy said that the Lumerians cleaned out his psychic cords and made him think much more clearly (AKA drugs), while the other guy said that a Lumerian gave him a tour of the mountain. I wanted to believe him, but then he started talking about the time he met a giant albino yeti and I started to have my doubts. Given that we were in the town of Weed at the time, is that behavior really a surprise?

We were also psyched (pun intended) to try the Lemurian Lager (alt spelling) at the local brewery, but alas they were closed for the weekend...or was it a cover up?

We DO Torture

There's a trenchant discussion of the chasm between the real meaning of torture and W's baloney definitions in today's Washington Post. I'm not sure I've ever been more embarrassed by my government.

Too Much Wacky News

I can't resist:

John Kerry finally won an election -- he's the jury foreperson for a trial in Massachusetts!

AND

Some bunghole town in Oregon named itself Secretsanta.com. Where's the self-respect people?

Those Pesky W-2s

Some good international news for once: Pinochet was indicted on tax evasion charges today. Just like Al Capone, a stupid slip-up with the taxman might be the end of a historic run of criminal behavior.

Not that anybody's crying too hard -- the guy killed thousands of people and has repeatedly avoided facing trial because of immunity and reported bad health (although if he keeps living, is his health truly that bad?).

I Have to Question the Timing

GM is firing 30,000 people. I don't question the GM decision on the business merits (except they need to lay off the SUVs and start making more hybrids--a little foresight could have saved some of those jobs), but I certainly don't like the schedule. It's Thanksgiving week. Don't be jerks!

In a similar vein, the federales recently announced they were going to kick Katrina refugees out on the streets in a month. Congress, which is occasionally sensitive to actual people, put the pressure on to give them homes for the holidays. How sweet. Congress then proceeded to cut $50 billion in services for poor people while keeping a ridiculous tax cut for the rich.

This is the time of year to be happy about all that we have. I live in a gorgeous location, I get to pick my leaders, I make more money than 99% of the rest of the world, I ride my bike over one of the world's most famous landmarks every day, I have a healthy family, a beautiful girlfriend, a smart dog, and a closetful of Hawaiian shirts. In general things are fantastic--it's hard to complain.

But GM, that's just tactless. No wonder you're losing money. And all you people who voted for Bush out there (aka Steven Gibbons)...don't you wish you could have that one back? Maybe for the holidays?

He Didn't Learn It From Me, I Swear

We're sitting down to beers at Burgermeister when Otis, my beloved canine companion, started freaking out like there were cats in his pants. I drew closer to see what was going on; he leapt up on me and licked my shirt. Thusly subdued, I decided to tie him to a nearby tree, where he remained quietly for all of three seconds until he charged into the tables set out on the sidewalk, knocked over our beers, and started drinking them off the ground.

It was really annoying, but admittedly a pretty sweet move. Plus the cash register lady saw the whole thing and provided us with new beers for free. Sure is nice to finally have a smart dog for once, even if he's sometimes a little evil.

Album of the Year

Use Your Illusion 2 has been in my car for the last three months and I haven't yet gotten tired of it. Right now I can't get "Breakdown" out of my head, truly one of the Gunners' hidden gems. Of course there's also "Don't Cry," "Civil War," and "Estranged" -- the classics -- and "Get In the Ring," which is the best pump-up song ever. (OK, 2Pac's "Can't C Me" with George Clinton is pretty awesome too, but it's close.) Then there's "You Could Be Mine," immortalized in Terminator 2 when John Connor rolls around LA on his motor scooter, "So Fine" (another secretly amazing ballad), and general rockin' n' rollin' everywhere you look. The only truly terrible track is "My World," a stupid techno track they pasted on the end for no apparent reason.

Crazily, this album was also album of the year in 1991 for me (Use Your Illusion 1 moved into first place in 1992, I believe). Also, these albums are still in the top 3,000 on Amazon, which is amazing seeing as they're 14 years old. I'm kind of glad Guns N' Roses fell apart when they did, actually. Very few bands keep it going strong as they get older -- most (with the exception of the Rolling Stones) get worse (Pearl Jam) and/or more mainstream (Metallica, Aerosmith, etc). Better to flame out than to lame out, no?

Canine Martial Arts

These videos for Dog Judo are pretty funny -- especially Episode 1 (Power Date!). If you liked The Office (and who doesn't love David Brent on guitar?), you'll love these. You also might like them if you liked that Chimp TV thing they were doing on Comedy Central a while back, which I actually liked but I think I was the only one. Kind of like Diet Vanilla Coke, Surge, and various other flash-in-the-pan soft drinks.

Pour Out a Lil' Liquor

I knew something was up in my neighborhood when, riding my bike to work yesterday, I saw police tape sealing off one of the entrances to Golden Gate Park. I read that there was a shooting in the paper, and on the way home a bunch of kids were gathered along my route home, lining forty bottles with candles in them along one of the roads -- it looked really nice, spiritual even.

Then I read this morning that the guy was killed about 15 minutes after I'd passed by the exact spot on my ride home from work on Tuesday. His mistake? Helping a woman who was being robbed.

Basically, this is another sad reminder that helping people in distress ain't worth it. Sure am happy it wasn't me, though.

SF Self-Righteousness Factory, or Time to Move?

My girlfriend sent me this email after she moved the car this morning for street sweeping:

Some jackass(es) left notes on the car criticizing the parking job. One even said "sh*t happens to cars that park like this."

I was thinking of papering the power lines with the following message: To the person who feels compelled to leave threatening notes criticizing parking jobs: We've all lamented wasted space. Please consider that parking depends on the position of the car in front of you (or, as in the parking job you felt compelled to critique, the parking job of the person blocking the driveway behind you).

By the way: your high horse called. He wants you to get off.

Some People Just Suck

And no, it's not Jaymz....

Wimps and losers across San Francisco are filing huge quantities of noise complaints from the Rolling Stones/Metallica concert. I realize we're all Americans here and like having things our way or the highway, but please, guys, be a sport! If we can't get together to celebrate California heavy metal and British rock, what do we have left?

This reminds me of the insane week-long fiestas that would go down in Spain when I did a semester abroad in Sevilla. People stay out drinking (and pissing) in the streets all night long, all day long, at high volume -- and hardly anybody complained. There, having a party was tradition (and the parties had often been around for hundreds of years), and any thought of interfering with kids letting off some steam was ridiculed. Kids had their fun and old folks went to bed.

In America, however, people complain. People want the Haight Street Fair to end earlier, they forced the urban ski jump to be held during the week rather than on the weekend (when people could actually go) -- heck, even one good friend of mine thinks Bay to Breakers (aka the day my brother calls "the most fun day of his life") should be shut down because it creates too much chaos. I realize people pay a lot of money for their houses and want their quiet refuge, but they also decided to live in a city with all the vibrancy, creativity, and noise that comes with it. Shut up and have fun, guys.

10 mph

To get to and from yesterday's Raiders game, I spent four hours in the car. About an hour to pick everybody up and get to the stadium, then forty minutes waiting in line to find out the main lot was full (at 9:45 am!). The Bay Bridge was backed up to a ludicrous extent on the way back, no thanks to the Metallica/Rolling Stones concert at PacBell/SBC/AT&T Park, lots of angry Raiders fans, and general East Bay suckiness.

Forty miles in four hours for a mediocre game. That's enough to make my brother throw up on Market Street (which he did, but we think it was something he ate rather than the traffic).

At least Randy caught one in the end zone. Fire Norv Turner!

Bring Back the Poppies

In Canada and much of the rest of the Commonwealth, I'm often reminded, people wear poppies pinned to their shirts on Veterans Day (aka Remembrance Day). There's a two minute moment of silence to recognize World Wars I and II, and everybody reads the poem "In Flanders Fields" by John McCrae.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Isn't that classy? In the US Veteran's Day is more like Columbus Day, a day when federal employees don't work but everybody else does, basically a footnote on the calendar. I propose we start wearing poppies and reading poetry on 11-11-11 too, and give meaning to this oft-overlooked day.

Once a year, an intelligent and meaningful recognition of the courageous people who saved the world from tyranny a couple of times doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it? And we won't hear any complaints from flower sellers either, I suspect.

Do These Traffic Reports Only Entertain Me?

Today's dispatch from the East Bay -- a coffee table in the middle of the highway!

These repeated accounts of furniture on our roads makes me suspect there's a loose tailgate problem with moving trucks in the area. People, remember to fasten down...

Beautiful Day In California

Today, November 9, is a fantastically gorgeous day.

1. I rode my bike to work in short sleeves and shorts -- and was hot. Every time I start to miss the East Coast I get a day like today and wonder why I could possible be so silly. (There's something to be said for energy, toughness, seriousness, which the East Coast has more of, but on sheer beauty it's not even close.)

2. Arnold lost on everything in our stupid election yesterday. Next year: Arnold gets fired!

3. Several other financial and future-oriented developments better left off the blog!

Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechologist

OK, we've all seen some variation of W's idiocy before, but this is a nice smorgasbord -- plus it features Andy Dick! (I think...)

Fujirrested

The former president of Peru was just arrested in Chile, as he was en route to a potential political revival in Peru. Apparently former president Fujimori, who was wanted on corruption and human rights charges, had been waging a highly successful virtual campaign out of a Tokyo hotel room and decided to roll the dice on international law by heading to Peru. And for once international law won!

My favorite part of the article is Fujimori's flight plan:

Peru's El Comercio newspaper reported in its edition Monday that Fujimori initially flew from Tokyo to Atlanta on Delta Airlines and then took a private plane to Santiago, with a stop in Tijuana.

OK, maybe Tokyo to Atlanta was the cheapest fare. But then why break the bank chartering a private plane? And why Tijuana? One last roll in the hay before implosion, a la Barrett Robbins?

Santa Claus Is Roucking to My House

Attention all secret fans, blog readers, etc! Even if you may not know me, you now have the chance to buy me a Christmas present!

Simple pick something off this wishlist and order away! It's your way of saying thanks for those countless minutes of entertainment you've spent perusing this site.

Updikealicious

I've never particularly cared for John Updike's work (which, admittedly, is limited to reviews and fiction I've read in the New Yorker). But his review of the new Gabriel Garcia Marquez novella is easily the best book review I've ever read.

Weirdly, it may be too good -- I don't feel much need to read the book anymore. Could it be anything other than a letdown after Updike's review? Plus, the book is only 115 pages long--it seems unlikely that anything important was not included in the review. (Double negative problem with that last line, but if you read it again it makes sense.)

Those Crafty Programmers

Go to google.

Type in "failure."

Click "I'm feeling lucky."

Laugh!

Miers Equilibria

During my last semester in college, I wound up taking a class called "Game Theory and Political Theory." Although I was loath to take anything remotely involving numbers or graphs at that point in college, the class was the only one available that fit one of my missing requirements, so I took the plunge. It ended up being an interesting class--very theoretical, but actually applicable to politics. My professor had been active in the Greek political system, and I'll never forget how during an office hours visit he livened up a theoretical discussion with an anecdote of how the supporters of his candidate (a Commie, I believe) threw their votes to another candidate in the early rounds of voting, because they knew their candidate would win out in a head-to-head competition. (Kind of like Howard Dean vs. John Kerry -- Howard Dean talks the talk (a little too much, actually) while John Kerry, presumably, was a winner.)

Which takes me to the Harriet Miers/Alito situation. Imagine a simple line chart with the Democrats on the left, regular Republicans a little right of center, and the conservatives on the far right. Bush put Miers between the Republicans and the Democrats -- and the conservatives revolted. Alito falls between the Republicans and the conservatives, and he's gonna get through.

Bush screwed up with Miers. In game theory, whoever makes the first move controls the game--and Bush made a stupid first move by alienating his major power base. But how were the Democrats to capitalize? In a purely results-based system, I think they should have taken Miers--she wasn't great but she didn't seem to be an ideologue and she was going to be better than anybody else on the issues. Plus she's a woman. Instead we're stuck with Alito, who will be confirmed and is an ideologue.

But Miers was also underqualified and a product of cronyism. On a political level, the Democrats couldn't let that stand. I just wish they'd made more noise about it, that they'd taken some responsibility for driving Miers out of town. But as usual, the Democrats say nothing and they're forgotten, solidifying their irrelevant status. And while Bush got some bad press, it was all self-inflicted -- there was no Democratic pile-on that could have not only hurt Bush even more, but made the Dems viable again.

Although I gotta say, I'm loving the latest poll numbers...

Secret Project

We've been working on a cool secret project at work that has just left stealth mode and is now publicly available. It's nice to work on something that won't just make a lot of money (though it should) but also provides an important service that makes everybody's life better.

Check out the website here. Also, there's a story out today in the Wall Street Journal that I'd love to reprint, but the WSJ is pretty touchy about paying a republishing fee -- I'll have to wait until we get some press that's available free online (probably about ten minutes).